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1. Upcoming Meetings:
October 29 - Dept /ELO-X planning
November
In November, we have 2 nights of Student Led Conferences in lieu of the November 27th - Parent Conferences. November 27th is a non-work day
November 5- Dept/ELOX Planning
November 7 - Conferences (3:15 - 6:45)
November 12 - Shared Staff
November 13- Conferences (3:15 - 6:45)
November 14 - LT/DH Meeting (Thurs)
November 19 - TA/Exhibition Team
November 26 - Faculty/LC
2. Staff Meeting on Tuesday -
Agenda is coming soon - Items for discussion:
Student led conferences, assembly program, student behaviors update, Halloween, ... please let me know of others.
3. Can Teachers Be Amateur Counselors with Their Middle Schoolers?
“Tweens may think bad feelings stick around forever, struggle to interpret feedback, or have no idea how to make themselves feel better,” says Washington, DC school counselor and author Phyllis Fagell in this article in AMLE Magazine. Here’s what an angry 14-year-old at Fagell’s school experienced one day: she took offense when a classmate made an innocuous comment about her weekend plans; she felt rejected when there wasn’t room to sit with her friends at lunch; and when she was scolded by a teacher for being chatty that afternoon, she yelled that she always got blamed for everything and stomped out of the classroom. Sitting with this angry girl a few hours later, it took a while for Fagell to get her to identify why she was so on edge: she’d had a fight with her mother on the way to school.
Eruptions like this happen all the time with young teens, who are seldom in touch with the underlying reason that an argument, a slight, an or an ambiguous comment can sour their mood. Fagell suggests some counseling techniques that any educator can use:
• Artfully reframing – “Getting disinvited from a sleepover, bombing a test, or getting excluded from a gift exchange all can feel like catastrophes,” she says. One trick is helping kids think about the situation as if they were looking down on it from a hot-air balloon. Another approach is walking through it step by step to the logical conclusion: Will it really turn out so badly? And if it does, what will you need to cope?
• Challenging distorted thinking – Students “think in black and white, overgeneralize, and discount the positive,” says Fagell. A boy might ignore numerous positive comments on a presentation and obsess about one snarky remark about his voice cracking. Adults need to point out faulty perceptions and ask kids to come up with alternative possibilities.
• Validating – There’s a tendency to refute comments like, “You never call on me” or “No one ever wants to be my lab partner,” but a better approach is to acknowledge the feeling and sympathize with it: “If I thought no one wanted to be my lab partner, I’d be pretty upset too.” Feeling heard makes it more likely that a student will be open to taking the next step and solving the problem.
• Listening actively and reflectively – Repeating students’ concerns back to them, says Fagell, “requires concentrating, matching a student’s body language, turning toward them, eliminating distractions, making eye contact, and ensuring your tone, gestures, and words are in alignment.” And no shuffling papers or glancing at your computer!
• Providing psychoeducation – Counselors can help other educators in their school understand the difference between depression and normal teenage mood fluctuations, and know when to talk to a student themselves or make a referral to a specialist.
• Scaffolding risk-taking – For example, if a student has been taking tests in a separate room as part of an IEP, see if she can take a test in her regular classroom with her back turned to classmates. If a student is afraid of making a presentation to his class, have him present to a few trusted friends or read from a script.
• Asking open-ended questions – For example, How do you learn best? What excites you? What progress do you hope to make in your class? “Solicit their opinions,” says Fagell, “treat them as the expert in their lives, and speak above their maturity level to convey respect.”
• Linking thoughts to feelings and behaviors – “Tweens experience intense lows and are wired to remember the negative, and that makes middle school the perfect time to reinforce positivity and optimism,” says Fagell. Teachers might have students fill in charts on their mood or hang their names on a clothesline that shows their emotions, then discuss ways to turn around a sour frame of mind – and also savor and extend moments of joy.
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